Feels Like Coming Home | +arrowsandradiation
“Clint…. I think I did it.”
There. There it is - and if he chooses to walk away from her now, she couldn’t find it in her to blame him. Because she’ll tear herself apart, leave herself without her most vital of escape routes to see him unharmed.
Well, physically intact at least. She knows that allowing what happened between them to occur was more damaging than anything else she could have done, but she can stop it now. Stop it while he’s still breathing.
As his hand grips hers back, powerful and familiar, she nearly falters. It’s been a long day - a long couple of months, if she’s honest - and if she was capable of doing so, she’d crawl into Clint’s arms and never leave. Trace over his features, so well known to her, and ground herself with him.
Instead, she waits, barely able to risk looking at him with this admission hanging between them.
The words hit him, but they don’t hit as much as she thinks they do. She did it? Well, then she did. but that didn’t mean he’d love her any less. How often had he killed people for the mere fun of it? How often had he tortured people to death? Just for the feeling of power?
He wasn’t a saint, she wasn’t either. He doesn’t know what to do, but what he does know is that he can’t take this silence anymore. His hand grips hers a little tighter and he pulls, pulls her into his arms, wrapping them around her in a warm embrace. He’s not going to let her leave. Not going to make him leave her.
He’s going to stick with her until she gets tired of him.
Even though she uses her words against him, her cold against him, he knows she loves him nonetheless and the weak moment he’d been in was simply caused by the past months without her.
“It’s okay…”, he assures her, “It’s okay, Natasha.“
His words are quiet, soothing and while he’s gently pressing her against him, he buries his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent. “It’s okay.”
Soothing words, not many. He doesn’t question her, he doesn’t judge. He knows it can happen and he’s sure it did. But he’s not going to give her up because of something like this.
While Natasha knows she should pull away, she doesn’t have the physical reserves to do so. Today, she promises herself. Just… let them have today.
Her face buried in his neck, she allows herself to untense a little for the first time in as long as she can remember. Clint came to find her, he will always find her - and whether she likes it or not, he’ll always bring her back.
Her hand curves around the back of his neck, the other around his waist, keeping him close to her. It’s not okay at all, not even a little, but she can almost believe him. She’s believed more with less, after all.
It’s not the killing that bothers her. She’d gotten over that a long time ago, when even first blood had sent a thrill through her. It’s dissipated now, becoming part of the job, but she’s still a killer at heart. That, she can live with. It’s that she doesn’t know. She knows that demons still lurk in her mind, ones she knows of and ones she doesn’t, and she’s simply afraid (her, the Black Widow, afraid of herself) of which might be coming out to play.
arrowsandradiation reblogged this from inheritorofmemories and added:
When she’s burying her face in his shoulder, he thinks things are going to be okay, before he blinks, looking at her as...
inheritorofmemories reblogged this from arrowsandradiation and added:
Natasha steps forward, burying her face in his shoulder for just a moment before taking herself across the room. She...
carmy-w liked this