It does matter - Natasha knows that fatherhood is something he’s destined for, just as he was destined for this life - but she lets it slip for now in favour of staying right here in his embrace. She shouldn’t, but she still lacks the will to move from it.
“Hell never trust you the same way again,” she warns him. “If you do this… SHIELD won’t let you go further.” She’s avoiding those words, guilt ridden and traitorous - she’s compromised yet another good man.
Looking back at Clint, thumb stroking over his cheek, she looks back at him with an expression that would be regret if she could bring herself to wish to undo even a moment of all that has passed between them.
“I’ll stay,” she says, and it’s her own answer to his confessions. That she can’t leave, not if he’s still here - that she’s tying their fortunes together despite her misgivings. “But you have to be careful. Please.”
Clint sighed, looking down at her, his fingers softly pushing some of the hair out of her eyes, her face, letting him see more of it, drowning more in the sight of this woman right here in front of him. She was the only one that ever sneaked into his heart so fast and even though he knew, oh and how he knew, he couldn’t stop himself from falling for her. Falling more and more for her.
He wouldn’t be able to word it, but he knew that she knew. If not before, then she knew now just how he felt for her, how much more than just trust was behind his words. He was hers, fully, entirely. Every last drop of blood inside of him, every part of his soul, it was hers. On missions, he was breathing for her, fighting his biggest fears. For her.
Clint knew better than telling this to anyone, but he knew that she had noticed, that she knew by looking into his eyes alone. He had only one person he’d show the truth to and this person was here, in his arms, sharing the couch in his office with him, but making it feel like he was laying on clouds.
“I’ll be careful.”, he said, his voice soft, relieved that she chose to stay. “I promise.”
His tone changed just a little, from the softness to something she knew she could trust. For now, he only wanted, no, needed her safe. That she chose to stay meant more to both of them than anyone else might think. That she wasn’t running away like it had been her plan showed that she cared for him as well. Usually, nothing could change her mind, nothing. Nothing but Clint, obviously.He carefully leaned his forehead against hers, looking into her eyes, letting himself drown in it. He was taking her in, letting her see through all the walls he had built up in the past years. And he knew she’d be the only one to see the Clint behind Hawkeye.
Natasha wonders at just how he’s helped to change her. She remembers shying away from his touch the first time he’d done so, the hand she’d taken simply to save her own life. Who’d have ever thought then that the same woman would be curled against him, mapping out his features with her fingers as though she’ll cease to exist without such knowledge.
Clint’s always been the one to make her real - to ground her in what is, rather than what might be. He’s her anchor, the debt which can never fully be erased; but she’d stay without such a pull nevertheless.
As she looks back at him, into his eyes rather than the eerie blue of the tesseract, she smiles slightly. He’s the lull between the storm and the calm, that irrepressible moment that balances forever between chaos and safety.
He’s home, whether she likes it or not - the first home she’s ever really had. So she’ll stay, of course she’ll stay. For as long as he’ll have her, she’s his… possibly long after the fact as well.
“Go to sleep,” she tells him, her own tone recovering some of its usual assurance. “You have a hard fight ahead of you. Tougher than anything we’ve faced in the field.” And it is, in a way. This is a battle fought with politics and words, when they’re both more accustomed to action.
bannerandbarton reblogged this from inheritorofmemories and added:
Clint looks at her, he’s not that big of a mind, really, but he understands a lot. And so he understands what she’s...
inheritorofmemories reblogged this from bannerandbarton and added:
Natasha rests her hands on his chest, fingers twitching slightly with the need to make him understand - well, that and...